Fashion and luxury is treated differently

When we were building our house in Denver we decided to turn the guest room into a library. We prefer guests who stay in hotels, which is where we stay when we visit. I was flabbergasted to discover that a friend of ours who had recently moved to Denver was very upset-he expected to be able to stay in our house even though he had a perfectly good condo a few blocks away from us. Entitled types never cease to amaze!
Length of guest's stay generally equals distance traveled. Retreat outside of the city equals stay of 2-3 days. Traveling 500+ miles equals stay of no more than 5 days. 3000+ miles or transcontinental travel equals maximum stay of 7 days.
HOSTS should inform guests of the schedule, individual and joint social commitments, required attire and basic house rules-breakfast time etc. GUESTS should inquire about schedule, transport and points of interest prior to arrival.
Guests can arrive with bottle of wine or bubbly, but house gifts should generally be offered at/after the end of stay. Guests should follow all house rules.
Guest should tidy bedroom, bed and bath, open window-coverings, store clothing and clear floor prior to exiting bedroom in the morning. Leave bedroom doors open/shut according to house custom. Guests should attempt to be showered, dressed and at the breakfast table/kitchen according to house custom.
Guests should always offer assistance with dishes, and or food prep, though it may be declined.Guests should offer to treat host to lunch and or dinner out every two days.
Guests who have working hosts should insure that appropriate refreshments and libations greet hosts upon their return from work.
Guests should not be underfoot and should be prepared to make excursions that don't require hosts attention.Thank you notes and gifts should be sent within two weeks of visit.
P.S. I started cropping my hair (a butch, as it was called in my youth) about 20 years ago when I caught a glimpse of the thinning hair on the back of my head, so looking a bit like a budding Friar Tuck, I headed to the barber shop to lose my hairstyle, and discovered the simple joy of not worrying about hair - no hat head, no muss, savings on hair care products, et al.
My brother-in-law who started to bald in his 20s, bought a toupee for whatever reasons, and now nearly 30 years later is still wearing his hair hat. It's a good one, but like all hair pieces, hardly undetectable. He's an otherwise perfectly nice guy who is in energy savings business and worked for NGOs, but this one piece of extraordinary vanity continues to baffle his sisters and brothers-in-law...